Following a bout of cancer and recent retirement, I found myself needing to adjust to a new phase of life. I was eager to jump into it with both feet. My wife had, for the previous two years, been a tremendous support, extremely considerate, and literally waiting on my every need. While I was eager to regain a degree of independence, my wife was not quite ready to give up her protectiveness or the roles she had found it necessary to take on. A clash was inevitable and perhaps normal. However, something said by my wife, in a perfectly innocent manner, stirred up dormant feelings in me. I reacted in a totally inappropriate manner, yelling at my wife at the top of my lungs, in a hard, cold manner. This reaction shocked and stunned us both. I knew that there was no excuse for this behavior and that it needed to be dealt with immediately. I was remorseful and determined that there be no repeat performance. At the recommendation of a friend, I contacted Hope for the Soul and made an appointment to see David Siniscalchi.
David immediately identified the incident as an episode of rage. While I certainly didn’t like the word and didn’t like to see myself as subject to rage, I couldn’t deny that is what happened. The task before us was to identify underlying issues contributing to the episode.
In meeting with David, he again, almost immediately, was able to identify what has been a life-long struggle for me – a sense of inadequacy. This is something that others had seen but mislabeled as being humble, or falsely humble or trying to be super spiritual. David hit the bull’s-eye and immediately went to work to address this issue. He did this with “homework” assignments (articles to read and exercises to work on). We discussed these as well as the work the Holy Spirit was doing in me. In doing so, I learned that a sense of inadequacy is not an uncommon concern for many men. David’s matter-of-fact, non-judgmental approach helped me to become more open to God’s love and mercy. This worked in harmony with the Spirit of God to help me to forgive myself and to see myself in a different light.
The background for all this (the therapeutic environment, if you will), was David’s sharing of his own self – his life. He freely spoke of his background, his incredible physical sufferings and how the Lord has worked in him to turn his sufferings into an avenue of comfort and healing for others.
David is a plain-spoken, forthright, (some might say “blunt”) person who does not pull punches. But his delivery is always based on love and humility. It is not easy to evade or avoid issues with him. If you are willing, he will address them doggedly. It is easy to see why he is effective.
Not a lot of time has elapsed since completing my time with David. My wife and I still have occasional “tiffs” that fall within what might be considered normal disagreements between married couples. There has not been a return of an episode of rage. I have good reason to hope and believe there will be no repeat performance. But if there is, I know I can return to David and Hope for the Soul as a source of help.
Tom C…